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Today we look at gay beauty, where it is— and where it's going. Hey there, it’s Upton Rand, your go-to gay guy with a sharp tongue, a nerdy streak, and a Lakewood edge that cuts through the bullshit. I’m back with an updated spin on gay male beauty standards for the Gay Men’s Field Guide —because who doesn’t want a funny, raw take on where we’ve been and where we’re headed? Let’s dive into the mess of it all—past, present, and a wild guess at the future—while keeping it real and hilarious. Buckle up, boys! Laundromat Real Talk: Folding Briefs  and Talking Gay Beauty Standards Picture this: me and my friend Brendan at the laundromat, knee-deep in boxer briefs and socks, when we stumble into a convo about gay beauty trends. It’s not your typical “who’s cute” chitchat—this is us unpacking what “hot” even means in our little corner of the world . Back in the early 2000s, we were both suckers for that Abercrombie & Fitch fantasy: zero body hair, abs like a washboard, and a tan that screamed “I summer in the Hamptons.” Brendan was a rugby jock, I was a skinny runner, and we chased that look like it was our ticket to gay heaven. Spoiler: it wasn’t. I once tried waxing my chest at home and ended up redder than a lobster and twice as mad—lesson learned. The things we do for beauty right? Then the mid-2000s hit, and bam—lumberjack season had arrived. Beards, fuzz, and a little cushion for the pushin’ were suddenly the vibe. My twink ass was out of luck, while Brendan rocked the “dad bod” like a champ. It was a wake-up call: queer identity shifts fast, and beauty standards? They’re a moving target. My ex-husband—hot but a total dick—used to rave about my average build like it was gold. Weirdly, his messed-up compliments showed me beauty’s personal as hell. Who knew an asshole could accidentally drop wisdom? Where we are now: beautiful bear of bods and inclusivity. 🌈 #BearBodsAndRainbows" My First Gay Label Let’s rewind to 18-year-old me in rural Michigan—cows, corn, and zero gay bars. Twice a year, we’d hit these lodge dances near Marquette (name’s fuzzy—blame the alcohol in my 20s). One night, some dude calls me a “twink.” I’m thinking, “What, like the cream-filled kind?” Nope—young, slim, smooth. It blew my mind to hear there were all types of us homos. That’s when I clocked the gay subculture communities: twinks, bears, otters—it’s a whole damn zoo out there. My queer identity got a crash course, and I’ve been obsessed with these tribes ever since. (If I’d cashed in every “twink” comment back then, I’d own a lodge now.) Meanwhile Back in Laundry Land... . . Back at the laundromat, Brendan’s was playing historian with past gay beauty trends, but I’m like, “Screw that—I want to know what’s next!” I dug into social media—Twitter, Insta, all of it—tracking how we went from Abercrombie smooth to lumberjack rugged. For the future, I leaned on some driven analytics (nerd alert) to find out what may be coming. Brendan’s betting on a ‘50s muscle-man comeback—think beefy dudes with a modern twist. Me? I’m eyeing OnlyFans, where guys crank their LGBTQ style to max volume and fans eat it up. It’s a beauty buffet, and I’m loving the chaos. Wild Guesses: Neon Beards or Leather Everything? Brendan name-dropped OnlyFans first—smartass—and it sparked some thoughts. LGBTQ style loves a retro remix, right? ‘80s shoulder pads turned into bomber jackets, so what’s beauty’s next throwback? Picture this: ‘80s bears with neon-dyed beards or Bowie-level androgyny in leather. I’m rooting for electric blue pubes— i’m tempted to go buy some electric blue dye today ;-)The future’s wide for us though, and gay subcultures are steering the ship. Where we may be going: Cyberpunk meets David Bowie with a dash of kink—futuristic streets, glam vibes, and a playful edge. 🌃✨🔗 #FutureFabulous Unleashing Grok: AI Meets My Beauty Obsession Post-laundromat, I got antsy and called on my AI buddy Grok (Rex, because he’s extra) slice through the noise , sift through the data and get the real story. We analyzed Twitter, all of Twitter… grok also had X posts on lock, so I told it: “Map gay beauty trends from ten years ago to now, then predict the future based on the natural continuation of them.” Grok nailed it—smooth Abercrombie ruled the ‘90s, then hairy naturals took over. It flagged new stuff too: fillers, Botox, even steroids. Brendan and I bickered over that last one—he’s anti, but I’ve seen it normalized. At 16, I was on Trenbolone (yes, the seroid they give cattle) and punched a wall over hold music. Teens, stay safe. lol The Future’s a Rainbow: Variance Rules Here’s the juicy bit: beauty’s not shrinking—it’s exploding. Research shows gay subculture vibes are splitting into a million awesome directions. Bears own their hair and heft, goth gays flip off norms with androgyny—it’s all about queer identity your way. OnlyFans is the rocket fuel; creators flaunt their unique LGBTQ style, and fans stan hard. Social media’s the hype machine, turning every look into a community. The future? A spectrum where “hot” is whatever you say it is. PacSun might scoff at my 39-year-old ass, but I’m grabbing my vibe—maybe even dyeing something wild—and owning it. I sifted the data so you can watch Ru Paul ya'll. The Raw Bit: My Ex Sucked, But He Had a Point Real talk: my ex was abusive—quietly toxic, not cartoon-villain loud. He’d trash me, then fawn over my “flaws” like they were art. Confusing? Yup. But through his crap, I learned something: beauty’s not a mold to fit—it’s yours to claim . Im 39 now y’all , I’m over chasing “trends.” I’d rather rock my queer identity, maybe test-drive some neon pubes, and laugh as I took the ride. That’s the deal—messy, real, and 100% me.

Watch the video above to see me, Upton Rand, take on my 2009 Toyota Corolla’s radiator disaster—saving $700 and proving anyone  can fix their car with some YouTube grit. It’s got the whole saga: the coolant-soaked breakdown, the sweaty repair, and that sweet test drive victory. Below, I’ll break down how I went from panic to power, and why this matters for every gay guy who’s ever felt counted out. It all started when my car felt off the second I turned the key. I’d barely gone a block before hearing this faint growling sound—nothing crazy, just… wrong. It was early April in northern Ohio, chilly enough that I craved some heat. But when I flipped on the heater, cold air blasted out. Weird as fuck, right? Then I glanced at the temperature gauge: the needle was screaming toward red. I pulled over on the highway, heart pounding, and popped the hood. My Corolla had barfed neon-green coolant everywhere—like Santa’s elves had a diarrhea meltdown under there. Panic hit hard; I was maybe two seconds from a full-blown anxiety spiral. Looking back, I should’ve known trouble was brewing. For weeks, I’d caught this subtle, sweet coolant smell in the cabin, but like a dumbass, I shrugged it off. I’ve always been a magnet for car drama. This 2009 Corolla—pretty much a fossil—has tested me plenty. I’m religious about roadside assistance, and trust me, it’s paid for itself 10 to 20 times over. Locked keys inside? Done it. Dead battery from leaving lights on? Guilty. Tows? Too many to count. So, standing there, coolant dripping, my gut said, Call roadside assistance. But then came the kicker: Where do I tow it? Which mechanic?  My brain spiraled—walk into a shop, and they’ll hear me talk or see me move and think, “This gay guy’s clueless—cha-ching.”  If you’re reading this, you’ve probably felt that vibe too. It’s a shitty stereotype, but the fear of getting screwed over? Real as hell. I filed the claim and froze my ass off for two hours waiting for the tow truck. About 90 minutes in, my friend Jim rolled up like a damn saint, handing me hot coffee that saved my soul for the last half-hour. He even drove me home. I’d left the house without a sweatshirt—stupid move, since my job cutting steel and grinding metal usually has me drenched in sweat. But there I was, shivering, staring at my broken-down car, hating how helpless I felt. That’s when it clicked. Yeah, I didn’t grow up wrenching on cars. But I didn’t grow up knowing how to run a business either, and here I am doing that. Why not learn this? What’s the worst that could happen—besides blowing cash I don’t have? I’d messed with small repairs before, just YouTube basics. This looked rough—like big mechanic bill  rough—but it was a shot to prove something. One more checkmark on my list of “stuff they say gay men can’t do, but I did.” So, I dove in. I figured I wasn't going to break it- after all, it was already broke!! Lmao That began my Gay DIY Car repair adventure! Looking tough as I do the repair LMAO What Went Down The video up top shows the whole grind, but here’s the quick version. I binged YouTube tutorials—probably 50 of ‘em—to figure out what a radiator even does. Spoiler: it keeps your car from cooking itself. Who knew? Not me. I diagnosed a hole in the radiator and a sketchy thermostat. First step: drain the coolant. Total mess—neon-green puddles galore. Then I wrestled off a hose clamped on like it was welded. Pliers, sweat, and a lot of cursing later, I got it free. Slapping on a new hose felt like forcing a square peg into a round hole, but I made it happen. Next, I swapped the radiator—way heavier than it looks—and refilled the coolant, mixing it just right. Bleeding the system to clear air pockets was slow as hell, like watching paint dry with extra swearing. It was a gauntlet. Dropped tools, skinned knuckles, and enough cussing to clear the birds out of Ohio. But every win—bolts tightening, engine humming—felt like a fist bump from the universe. Check the video for the raw chaos and payoff. The hole I finally discovered and repaired in my radiator. I still don't know how it happened. The Payoff and Lessons Learned About Gay DIY Car Repair When I took that test drive (you’ll see it at 4:47 in the video), I didn’t yell “I did it!”  like some cheesy movie. I just sat there, engine purring, feeling this quiet awe. I’d tackled something gnarly, and damn, it hit deep. It wasn’t just about the car—it was knowing I could do this. For too long, I’d bought the lie that gay guys aren’t “handy.” Screw that. We can be fierce and  fix shit, thank you very much. So, what’s your “fix the car”  moment? That thing you crushed despite the doubts? Drop it in the comments—I’m dying to hear. And take it from me: you’re tougher and more capable than you think. Want more stories like this? Hit up gaymensfieldguide.com  for weekly bilingual posts on living bold. Grab my books on our store. And if you’re pumped, share the video—it’s proof anyone  can wrench with YouTube’s help. I guess my point is, don't be afraird, your cars already broke. You can do this, have faith in yourself. If you don't- have fait in youtube and AI at least. This is very achievable no matter what the repair.

A year post-divorce, I sat in a Boston podcast studio, mic glaring like it dared me to spill. The host grinned, “Single or seeing anyone?” I froze. “Single,” I said, voice steady, mind racing— Am I ready to date again after a gay breakup?  It’s that question that gnaws at you, whether it’s a divorce or just another shattered romance. Are the scars healed enough to let someone in? My marriage imploded partly because my ex hauled in baggage—resentments from past guys I never met. I was stuck dodging ghosts, and it muddied us from the jump. When it ended, I swore I wouldn’t drag that crap into my next shot at love. But knowing that and feeling  ready? Two different beasts. My body screamed for connection, but my head wasn’t sold— What if I get burned again? The original breakup therapist The Lifelines in Gay Breakup Recovery I didn’t figure it out alone. Healing after a gay breakup is brutal, and I leaned hard on help. My therapist, Yub Kim, was a damn genius—sifting through my mental trash: anger, pain, guilt—until I could breathe again. My friends were gold, too. They let me vent, cry, then laugh, nudging me back to old hobbies and myself. Gay breakup recovery isn’t linear, but they made it faster. The Moment It Clicked So when did I know? No big epiphany—just a quiet shift. One day, I caught myself smiling at the thought of someone new, heart thumping with thrill, not dread. I’d forgiven my ex, myself, and let the past settle. Journaling helped—scribbling my guts out, flipping back later to see hurt turn to hope. I was okay solo but open to more. My ex didn’t haunt my “what’s next.” That’s when I knew I’d cracked healing after a gay relationship. The Hope - and finding your next great gay relationship Dating after a gay breakup is terrifying—a leap with a sack of “what ifs.” But it’s a chance to build something real. Not sure you’re ready? Wait for that soft “yes” inside. I’m proof you can climb out—with a kickass therapist, a tight crew, and some stubborn self-talk. I’m set for my next chapter, and it’s gonna be good. If you’re in it, keep going—yours will be, too.

FAQs for our bilingual blog by a gay small business owner & entrepreneur—high-quality free weekly posts on blogs, books & t-shirts for all, curious or gay! Frequently Asked Questions Curious about our world of words, pages, and shirts? We’ve gathered the top questions we get about the blog, our books, and those awesome t-shirts. Check out the answers below—and if you’re still wondering something, drop us a line! - Upton Rand GayMensFieldGuide FAQ Who's behind the blog and the shop? That’s me, Upton Rand, running this show solo. I’m the guy writing the blog posts, sketching out shirt designs, and keeping this dream kicking. Originally from Michigan, I’m now in Ohio, pouring my soul into this since l started it last year following my divorce from a real dream-boat.. lol Why did you start GayMensFieldGuide.com? In 2024, my divorce left me staring at empty walls and a hollowed-out life. I needed something real to grab onto. So, I started Gay Men’s Field Guide as my anchor—a spot for me and any LGBTQ+ folks to stand tall, especially with today’s political shit-show. What the blog all about It’s my raw, no-filter look at life as a gay guy—messy, real, and scrappy. Last month, I blogged about panicking over a car repair, worried the mechanic might gouge me just for being gay. I ended up fixing it myself—proof we can tackle anything. Documented the whole damn chaos. Blog & Store FAQ How often do you post? We share fresh content at least once a week, so you can count on new reads to inspire your blog, book, or t-shirt obsession! Why is this blog unique? Run by a gay small business owner and entrepreneur, we’re a bilingual blog sharing high-quality, free content weekly—welcoming everyone, curious or gay, to explore blogs, books, and t-shirts! Blog Accessability We’re proud to meet WCAG 2.3 AA standards for accessibility and offer content in two languages, so more readers can enjoy our posts about blogs, books, and t-shirts! Shipping and Returns Policy Shipping Shipping is on us! We offer free economy shipping on all orders within the United States. Timing: Expect your gear to arrive in about 5-7 business days, though it might take a bit longer depending on where you are. Returns 30-Day Window: Not feeling it? You’ve got 30 days from purchase to return your item. Condition: Keep it unworn, unwashed, and with the tags still on. We can’t take back anything that’s been through the ringer. Special Note: Our printer doesn’t handle returns, but I’ve got your back—I’ll take them on personally to make sure you’re happy. How to Return Reach Out: Shoot me an email at contact@gaymensfieldguide.com with your order number and why you’re sending it back. Get Instructions: I’ll reply with the return details. Pack It Up: Box it up with your receipt or order confirmation and ship it to the address I provide. Return Shipping Your Cost: You’ll cover the return shipping, unless we messed up. Our Mistake: Got a defective or wrong item? Let me know, and I’ll send you a prepaid label—no hassle. Refunds Processing: Once your return lands with me, I’ll get your refund sorted in about 5-7 business days. Payment: It’ll go right back to your original method. Exchanges No Direct Swaps: We don’t do exchanges straight-up right now. Just return the item and grab the new size or style you want with a fresh order. Questions? Get in Touch: Hit me up at contact@gaymensfieldguide.com if anything’s off or you just want to chat about your order.

Upton Rand is an author, entrepreneur, and LGBTQ+ travel expert. After his divorce, he embraced new experiences, leading to hilariously awkward adventures that he now shares through his writing. His books include “Gay Men’s Field Guide: Urban Adventures,” documenting his transition from a conventional life to navigating city life and forming an amazing circle of friends, and “Gay Campgrounds: Guide to Gay Camping,” a funny travel guide. About Gaymensfieldguide.com Hey, I'm Upton! Eight months ago, life presented me with significant challenges, compelling me to rebuild from the ground up. Throughout my life, I’ve also faced persistent personal struggles that have profoundly shaped my journey. Determined to find a path forward, I embarked on a quest for healing, exploring various avenues and treatments. This relentless pursuit eventually led to a breakthrough, allowing me to reengage with life and embrace new opportunities. With renewed clarity, I channeled my experiences into writing, resulting in Gay Men’s Field Guide: Urban Adventures, where I share my journey of rediscovery. Writing became a therapeutic outlet, connecting me with others facing similar challenges. This passion led to Gay Campgrounds: Guide to Gay Camping, blending storytelling, art, and adventure. Beyond writing, I ventured into art and t-shirt design, transforming my healing process into a creative journey. This path has been incredibly rewarding, and I’m deeply grateful to everyone who has supported me along the way. Thank you for being part of this community. Explore My Blog Shop

Connect with Upton Rand, author and founder of Gay Men's Field Guide LLC. Have questions about our specialized books, blog content, or community resources? Looking for author interviews, speaking engagements, or collaboration opportunities? Reach out directly through our secure contact form or email. We personally respond to reader inquiries, bookstore orders, and media requests. Visit our store to purchase field guides, merchandise, and more. Discover our products, blog articles, and community. Want to chat? So do we! Join our Mailing List! Free exclusive content, or say hello! Only email required. We want you on our mailing list! We just need you to verify your age and get your email. Everything else optional... Yes, subscribe me to your newsletter. * First name Last name Email* Write a message Phone Please Verify you're Over 18* Month Month Day Year Next