About

I am Upton Rand—a Southern-born storyteller, amateur naturalist, and unabashed crier at weddings. Gay Men's Field Guide began as a newsletter I sent to nine friends after the first pandemic winter. We were lonely. We were over group chats. We needed longer sentences to say what was breaking and what was blooming.

The project has grown into this archive of essays, rituals, and experiments for queer men who want more than a calendar full of bar nights. Each piece is field research conducted in real living rooms, on road trips, and around campfires. I write in the voice I use with my closest companions: curious, earnest, a little mischievous.

What you will find here

• Field notes. Long-form essays that document how we gather, grieve, and build.
• Guideposts. Occasional frameworks for making decisions with compassion.
• Merch table. Lightweight goods that help keep this work independent.

How to stay in touch

There is no algorithm here—just the rhythm of life. When a new essay is ready, it arrives on the site and in the RSS feed. If you want reminders, set a recurring calendar invite to check back in. If you want conversation, send me a letter:

Upton Rand
PO Box 1604
Asheville, NC 28802

The Field Guide is a collaboration. Every time you share an essay, buy a tee, or tell me about the rituals that sustain you, the map gets clearer. Thanks for wandering with me.