The "iPhone Killer" Lie

I wanted to love it.

The design? Iconic. Teenage Engineering don't miss. The pitch? Revolutionary. An AI agent that uses apps for you.

But then I opened the box.

It felt cheap. Not "minimalist" cheap. Happy Meal toy cheap. And when I turned it on? It hallucinated my Uber ride to a different state.

The Teardown (Trigger Warning: Glue)

I tried to open it to see what powered this "future."

I fought. The glue won.

There are no screws. Just clips and adhesive. To change the battery, you have to effectively destroy the back panel.

Manufacturer Logic: "Batteries last forever, right?" Physics Logic: "No."

This device is not designed to be maintained. It is designed to be consumed and discarded.

Why This Matters (The E-Waste Mountain)

Every year, we throw away 50 million tonnes of e-waste.

The Rabbit R1 isn't just a bad product. It's a bad precedent. It normalizes "disposable compute."

The "App" Conspiracy

Here is the dirty secret:

The Rabbit R1 is just an Android app.

People successfully extracted the APK and ran it on a standard Google Pixel. It worked fine. Better, actually.

You paid $200 for a dedicated button to run an app that could have been on your phone.

Conclusion

Don't buy the hype. Don't buy the box.

If you want an AI agent, install ChatGPT on your phone. If you want a retro orange fidget toy, buy a vintage Tamagotchi.

At least the Tamagotchi won't end up in a landfill in 6 months.